We enjoy keeping in touch with you while providing simple tips and advice for you and your partner to use. Enjoy!

Love Quote

"Love doesn't make the world go round, Love is what makes the ride worthwhile." by Elizabeth Browning

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.”

Read our review of the game below and be sure to visit the game's official website.

And here is our review of the game...
More than anything else, A Private Affair is a wonderful tool to facilitate conversation between husband and wife in the areas requiring the most sensitivity: relationships, sexuality, and secrets! Anyone that has tried to help couples enhance their relationships will concur that conversation and communication are key ingredients in every marriage. This game is perfect for enriching both!

Our website was launched to help couples develop authentic intimacy in marriage. In all that we do to encourage intimacy, we strive for high quality, and desire to address sexuality both practically and tastefully. It is obvious that Jan and Todd Sellick, the creators of the couples' game “A Private Affair” have the same goals! A Private Affair (APA for short) is a wonderful, safe venue for broaching topics that require vulnerability and, in turn, promote intimacy.

Both of us found it so enjoyable and fun to read through the cards--either in bed together, or across the table from each other at our favorite restaurant. In fact, we have found this box of cards to be so much more than simply a game; in some sense, A Private Affair is more like a personal marriage coach!

One of our first observations was that APA was not like any other couples' game we've seen. It was all about excellence: both in presentation and content! Todd and Jan state:

“...when we first began to craft “A Private Affair” we spent quite a bit of time looking at what was currently on the market, and we just didn’t see anything quite like what we had in mind. The vast majority of the games felt so contrived, and often patronizing in their simplicity, and in the predictable and cliche way in which they invited couples toward greater intimacy... And lastly, the game gives opportunity ... to make promises to each other, and to create reminders that we will indeed remember, and follow up with each other in the days ahead. Without this piece, we end up creating a bit of insight and hopefulness, but then soon forget and lose new discoveries and possibilities.”

In short, A Private Affair, is able to effectively bridge three concepts that aren't often woven together: sexuality, emotional and intellectual connecting, and excellence! You will not be disappointed with A Private Affair, and will be coming back to use it again and again!

Visit this site for a recently published newspaper article with even more information about the game.

CONTEST! Click here for info about how you can get your own FREE "A Private Affair" game!

An Interesting and Beneficial Blog to Follow!

The Pure Bed's Blog

You'll enjoy the informative articles written by a Christian pastor and his wife who also run a married couple's online intimacy store. Their store is designed to "serve an under-served group... all married couples who want to avoid pornography but are drawn to finding creative ways to enhance their sex lives."

Question From a Husband about How to "Get Over" His Wife's Past Sexual Relationships
"I was a virgin when my wife and I married last year. My wife was not. She had several lovers before coming to Christ, and one after. She was honest and shared that with me. She's tried repeatedly to tell me she's broken all soul ties with them. So why can't I 'get over it’? I can't even put into words what I feel: anger, sadness, betrayal, which all seems strange, right, since it was before me? Please tell me what I can do to deal with this."

Answer:
In answering your question, we are assuming that your wife’s sexual history is not hindering her, and that it has been dealt with and she is experiencing freedom. If it is still an issue with her, we suggest she reads, The Invisible Bond, by Barbara Wilson.

There are 2 things we think you need:

1. You need to have a change of perspective… all of us are broken to some degree: some, like your wife, have obvious outward areas. Others of us have them in our hearts. When we understand this concept—it’s easier to forgive, and be forgiving…

Click here to read the rest of the answer.

Question from a Wife About Spanking During Sexual Foreplay:
"I have been married for 20 years and we have been Christians for 19 years. My husband has wanted me to willfully participate in what I would term "deviant sex" for the entire 20 years. I refused the first 18 years. We had intimacy, but I could tell that he was never fully satisfied.

Two years ago, I agreed to engage in what he wanted. It was fun and exciting and I especially liked the attention I received from my husband. It was the first time in our marriage that I felt truly desired by him. However, I always felt guilty.

Several weeks ago I had a dream that I truly believe was a warning from God. It was vivid and clear. I told my husband about it and I told him that I will not engage in that sexual behavior again. My husband said that he felt bad, but now he will hardly talk to me. He does not think that what he wants is wrong since it is between the two of us and no one else.

He wants me to spank him. As a Christian woman I really struggle with this.

My husband is an honest, hardworking man that truly loves me and his family. I believe he loves the Lord, but this is preventing him from growing in his relationship with the Lord. I think it always has because it has such a strong grip on him.

I don't know where to turn. I try to pray about it, but I would love to share with someone candidly about it. If you can make some suggestions in resources we can read or someone we can talk to about this I would be so grateful. Thank you for your ministry I know that it is greatly needed."

Answer:
We want to encourage you to read our answer here together with your husband. Part of our answer is also directed towards him.

We will begin by referring to the “Christian Views on Sex” article on our website. (We’d like to draw your attention to point #6: the Give and Take Principle.)

This article outlines principles that couples must mutually agree to. An honest talk with your husband about these principles is important. Because the Bible does not list all accepted or rejected forms of sexual play…there are principles or “guidelines” that we follow to make sure our sexual activities are strengthening our relationships, and not eroding them.

For example, sex is designed such that we learn to please our spouse—and not ourselves first of all. If your husband’s sexual preference for spanking results in obsessive behavior such that he can’t or won’t make love to you without it, then his focus is totally wrong. Is he unable to get aroused without spanking? Then, it has gone too far.

Sex play must be mutually pleasing, and not a violation of conscience. There are times, however, when our conscience is shaped by our upbringing and background, and not necessarily by God’s Word. Let’s face it: the Bible doesn’t say anything about spanking or not spanking as part of sexual play. [In another context, we might be tempted to refer to the verse that tells us “when you’re hit on one cheek, turn the other”! Sorry for this non-serious comment! ;-) ] And so, you can’t automatically say “it’s not Christian-like to enjoy spanking during a time of sex play”. It depends on some other factors…

Click here to read the rest of the answer.

As the name of the book clearly suggests, mentoring is the wave of the future for Christian marriages!

Think about it: almost every profession requires some kind of a mentoring program. The trades require thorough apprenticeship programs, while more academic professions expect an internship system. As the Parrott’s state “Personal attention from experienced practitioners helps those being mentored master vital skills, techniques, and attitudes.”

Les and Leslie Parrott wisely indicate two key ingredients necessary for any seasoned couples wanting to mentor newer couples: marriage renewal, and marriage improvement. To support their claims, they refer to a word picture originally provided by Stephen Covey, award winning author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:

Suppose you were to come upon someone in the woods working feverishly to saw down a tree.

“I don’t have time to sharpen the saw,” the man says emphatically. “I’m too busy sawing!”

Renewal and improvement, both personally and in marriage, is sharpening the saw! In effect, this is what qualifies seasoned couples to mentor younger couples in their marriages. Reading this book underscores the huge potential available for good that is available!

Carrie and I look back on our relationship, and see how we could have used mentors in our lives! Nevertheless, being where we are now in life, and in our marriage together, we are committed to being mentors and helping other couples reach their God-given potential in their marriages.

If you have the same heart, the same desire—then without a doubt, The Complete Guide to Marriage Mentoring is for you!

Well men, we can always use another tip on being romantic!

This month’s tip provides a very simple, powerful tool to enhance your romance quotient with that special girl in your life. This tip involves surprising your wife (always a critical element to romance!) by expressing interest and doing some homework that will startle your woman!

Read articles on relationships. Buy a book on romance—and inform your wife that you want to read it with her! Believe me when I tell you, you will earn bonus points with that suggestion!

Sincerely,

Jim and Carrie

Why not take a minute to visit our site's blog to see a listing of our most recent website articles?