Welcome to the first issue of The Intimate Couple E-Zine! We are looking forward to keeping in touch with you while providing simple tips and advice for you and your partner to use. Enjoy!

Love Quote
The great thing about being married a long time is falling in love with the same person again, and again, and again.

Bible Quote
Proverbs 5:18,19c “Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving doe, a graceful deer. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.” Who said the Bible wasn't clear about sexual love between husband and wife?!

Have You Heard?
...about the pastor in Florida who encouraged his parishioners to the 30 day sex challenge back in February? Paul Wirth, pastor of the Relevant Church, preached a series on marriage and taught about the benefits of sexuality in marriage. Together with his wife, Suzie, they have written a book, 30 Day Sex Challenge. An accompanying marriage guide and questionnaire can all be downloaded from their website.

...what about Doug and Annie Brown who decided to re-invigorate their marriage by having sex daily for 101 straight days! They wrote the book, Just Do It: How One Couple Turned Off Their TV and Turned On Their Sex Lives for 101 Days (no excuses!).

...and then there’s Charla Muller, who decided to give her husband the ultimate 40th birthday gift: sex everyday for an entire year! Her husband, Brad, was so surprised he stumbled and fell into a nearby chair! But they did it! 365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy was the book that resulted from this birthday gift that men only dream about!

You may be surprised to learn that for both the Brown’s and the Muller’s, it was the wife who made the suggestion of marathon sex to their husbands!

Regardless of the frequency of your sexual relationship, one thing is certain: when couples intentionalize sex, they are placing a high value on their physical union, and will undoubtedly benefit through the investment into each other’s lives. That being said, why not try the 30 Day Challenge?!

Questions & Answers
The following questions were submitted at the July 18,19 Intimate Couple Marriage Seminar in Kitchener, Ontario.

Question: "I had a question regarding your statement about it not being a good idea to talk to anyone other than your spouse about your marriage concerns and problems. Is it OK for a young woman to talk to a wiser, older female relative about her marriage in the interest of gaining wisdom and learning things the older woman has already learned?"

Answer: The key to going to others for advice is based on one simple principle. Don’t violate trust. A wife who takes her marital problems to friends or family is violating the very trust upon which her relationship with her husband is based. It’s very easy for a husband to feel more insecure and inadequate when he realizes his wife is talking to others about their marriage problems. His wife may, inadvertently, cause more problems by eroding trust. In some cases, the husband will feel betrayed, or emotionally “raped”.

Although counselors, coaches, and mentors can play a crucial role in helping couples, when relationship issues or intimacy problems are being discussed with others, the husband and wife need to either be together with the mentor or both be in complete agreement about the counseling process.

Intimacy is based on the four c’s, one of them being communication. Rather than talk with others, a wife needs to openly communicate in humility with her husband when there are problems in their relationship.

Exception: When a wife feels abused, afraid, or threatened, she must get outside help immediately. The normal rules of privacy and trust only work in a relationship of mutual love and respect.

Question: Any tips for a husband to become more romantic?

Answer: If you want your husband to become more romantic towards you, tell him! Help him understand that men and women have different needs. He may have no use for romance, but you do! Now, don't be disappointed when he doesn't "get" your subtle hints. Instead, why not create a romantic setting and choose that as the time to clearly and lovingly tell your husband that you feel special if/when he expresses romance to you?

Another important way to help your husband become more romantic is to express appreciation and love to him every time he is romantic... even if it is a seemingly small and insignificant gesture.

For additional help and encouragement, recommend he try these suggestions:

• Use your calendar to remind yourself to do something romantic for your wife. (Try to do something romantic at least once a week for starters!)
• Write your wife a loveletter every once in a while. If writing doesn't come easy, buy her a loving card that already has some text in it. Be sure to add a paragraph or two of your own words. You'll find that the more often you write her a card or letter, the easier it becomes for you to find words to write! (Wives, perhaps you can purchase a supply of special stationery just for your husband to use.)
• Check our site for romantic ideas.

Books We're Currently Reading...

• The Marriage Benefit by Mark O'Connell
  Long term intimate relationships are good for our lives and our health. Knowing the benefits of marriage can help us all...
• The Act of Marriage by Tim & Beverly LaHaye
  ...for every husband or wife who wants to be a better lover--insights into each other's bodies, psychosexual makeup, and need for tender, unselfish affection...

(Husbands, you'll score lots of points with your wife if you do this. Not only are you meeting your wife's need for communication, but you're showing your love for her through serving!)

Do You Have a Suggestion or a Question for Our E-Zine?
Use our online form to submit them to us. Thanks for your participation!

Thanks for reading! See you next month!

Sincerely,

Jim and Carrie

Why not take a minute to visit our site's blog to see a listing of our most recent website articles?