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Perhaps you’ve heard the adage, the best way to learn anything is to teach it to someone else; the same principle is at work here. Why not share some of your experiences with a younger couple—and share some of the failures, successes, and lessons you’ve learned along the way? You’ll be amazed how this sort of mentoring will positively impact your own marriage!

Helping others helps you!

A Few Ideas To Begin:

1. Pass the word around that you and your spouse want to start a small group on marriage enrichment—actively pursue couples you think you can connect with, and help. Tell each couple the group is all about going from Good to Great! Choose an appropriate marriage enrichment course.
2. Be open to the idea of becoming a marriage mentor to a younger couple—not because your marriage is perfect—but because you want to help couples, and in turn, help yourselves!
3. Volunteer to start a pre-marriage preparation course (or help with an existing program). This will facilitate getting to know young couples, and developing relationships that could develop into a mentoring situation. We use the "Alpha Marriage Preparation Course"; it is great, and couples give positive feedback about the material and practicality.

Believe us when we say, from experience, that helping other couples in these ways will put zest and appreciation into your relationship—the raw materials of romance! You will be the greatest beneficiary of your investments into other couples’ marriages.

Doing things that are exotic, alluring, exciting… these are some of the adjectives that instantly come to mind when someone talks about Revving-Up a Relationship! Let’s be very practical: most of us need other things first! A recent Health.com article sites 6 ways to rev up the sex life in your marriage: their list of suggestions is not what you may at first think!

1. Sleep
   Perhaps this is a little counter-intuitive! “It’s important to feel rested, even if that means changing your schedule to include intimacy and fun at other times of the day,” says Suki Hanfling, a certified sex therapist and the founder and director of the Institute for Sexuality and Intimacy in Belmont, Mass. Being rested makes a big difference in having the energy you need to give your partner the attention they deserve and long for.
2. Exercise
   Helen Fisher, Ph.D., an anthropologist at Rutgers University and author of the book Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love says that a good workout pumps up dopamine and, through a domino effect, may boost levels of testosterone, a hormone that can enhance libido.
3. Shopping
   “Spend a little “mad” money on yourself”, recommends Leiblum, who is also the author of Getting the Sex You Want: A Woman’s Guide to Becoming Pleased, Proud, and Passionate in Bed. “Take the time to discover what turns you on, from silky-smooth satin pajamas to a Victorian bustier,” she says.
4. See Your Doctor
   Being in great health is a contributor to passion that we don’t think about enough! Why not make that appointment, and ensure you’re in top health!
5. Check Your Medicine Cabinet
   “Common antidepressants like Prozac and Paxil may lift your mood, but they can kill your sex drive. Certain prescription painkillers, anti-anxiety medications, and even laxatives can also zap your libido.”
6. Take Your Time
   In our fast-paced world we just forget that everything about relationships takes the investment of time to improve! Slow down and enjoy each other!

Let’s face it, the element of surprise just isn’t going to be there…after all, it’s Valentine’s Day and you’re going to have to come up with a card, flowers, chocolates or any combination of the three! Expectations are sky high! Blame it on Hallmark or Lindorf, but we’re stuck. However, this is when the true romantics among us can really shine. Here’s how…

Take Valentine’s Day to a new level, and impress your lover with your thoughtfulness and deep romantic streak! (Don’t give me credit: pretend it’s your idea!)

• Buy three Valentine’s Day cards, and three gifts to be given in intervals of one week, the first, of course to be given on the Big Day! (If you wait until February 15 to buy the second and third cards and gifts… they will be on sale!)


• On your first card, draw 3 interconnecting hearts, with only the first heart coloured and filled in. Under the hearts, write “I love you – TODAY!”


• After one week, give the second card with its gift; again, on this card draw 3 hearts and the second one coloured in, with the words “I’ll love you – TOMORROW!” Of course, this is the point when you score big points. This is a complete surprise and totally romantic. You’ll have your lover mystified and curious. She’ll ask, “What about the third heart?!” Don’t give in! Just smile and remain silent.


• One week later, give the last card and gift—with all three hearts filled in, with the words