1 Corinthians 7:2-5 “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

Have You Heard?
Fun Facts about New Year’s Resolutions

• 63% of people are still keeping their resolutions after the first two months (this is better than I would have thought!)
• 67% of people actually make 3 or more resolutions.
• The top resolutions usually involve promises to exercise more (37%), increasing the time devoted to study or work (23%), losing weight, stop smoking or drinking (alcohol and/or coffee), and eat healthier.
• 65% of people made their resolutions between the 28th of December and New Year's Day. The rest usually take up until the end of January.

Question: How Can I Win My Wife Back?
"My wife is interested in another man. I have tried to find why she is not interested in me. What should I do to win her back?"

Answer: There is no easy answer to your question without knowing the details of your relationship. So let me speak in general terms—-which may or may not apply to your specific situation.

Women are designed to respond to their husbands. Very often when a woman becomes emotionally involved with another man, it is because her needs are not being met by her husband, and she is trying to get them filled elsewhere. If this is the case, you must have an open conversation with your wife about this.

By the time your wife is influenced by another man, a lot of relational damage has already been done. It is necessary for you and your wife to agree to find help or counseling. There is hope for your marriage—but you need to be committed to the relationship, and to meeting your wife’s needs.

Question about Using Romantic-Erotic Literature to Heighten Passion:
"Recently we have been trying to improve our love making. I found reading romance-erotic books helps me get in the mood. My husband is thrilled at the new passion and that I am willing to try new things. Is reading romance novels okay? Our sex life has never been better and I feel like I am being "educated" on what sex can be like. But I want to be God honoring in our sex life."

Answer: Carrie and I are careful with erotic literature because we don’t want to stimulate sexual desires for anyone except one another. Any romance novels or erotic stories should not awaken desires for others, but only for your husband or wife … that must be the bottom line.

Another important consideration is that sensual and erotic novels (also movies and television shows) are often very different from how we actually experience life and relationships. They may give us unrealistic expectations for our own marriages.

The romance and erotic literature might make it easy for us to compare our spouse with the man or woman in the book/movie.

• A husband could become disappointed that his wife is not more sexy or voluptuous, or continuously desirous and hungry for aggressive sex.
• A wife might find herself wishing her husband would become more dashing, sweep her off her feet with his constant romance, and bring her to sexual heights with only a passionate kiss and embrace!

Keeping all of that in mind, here are a couple of sites you might like to check out:

• Hoochymail: "personalized explicit erotic fantasy about yourself and your special someone" After you fill in the online form, the personalized erotic story is emailed to you.
• Marriage Stories

Question from Cameroon
"I love my husband and he loves me. He does everything for me to satisfy me sexually but we have a problem. My husband has a problem of ejaculation, in two sexual relationship he will ejaculate once, what can we do? Thanks a lot."

Answer: I am happy to hear you and your husband love each other and have a good marriage.

This is the way I understand your question… Your husband is only able to orgasm (ejaculate) every other time you have sex.

To help your husband achieve orgasm every time, I suggest you make sure you extend foreplay for a longer period of time without any time deadline. Sex is supposed to be fun but if your husband thinks he has to “perform” or that he might “fail” by not having an ejaculation, then that stress might make ejaculation difficult. If your lovemaking includes fun and no stress, with a long time of foreplay before intercourse—your husband may experience orgasm more easily.

There could also be medical reasons for his not being able to ejaculate. Perhaps your husband is taking medication that has side effects that impact his ability to orgasm. I am sorry that I am not a medical expert on ejaculation, and would suggest you consult with a doctor if the problem persists.

Forgive me if I misunderstood your question. Did you mean to ask why your husband isn’t able to ejaculate a second time right after his first ejaculation? Men need a minimum of 45 minutes between sexual orgasms to allow their bodies to replenish. Most men need longer than this! This is a difference between men and women: women are able to have multiple orgasms but men only orgasm once.

"Biblical principles your parents never taught you for a happy marriage behind the bedroom door."

Clint uncovers sensitive topics with a candid and honest style. Though he is straightforward, frank, and at times even blunt ("red-neck style"), we found his book fun and inspiring to read! There were only a few statements we felt differently than Clint on. Other than those, we wholeheartedly agree with his perspective into not only the practical aspects of sex, but also the foundational principles of a happy marriage.

Click here to find out how to order your own copy.

Take advantage of Valentine’s Day looming before us (only 37 days away)! Check out our article Valentines Day and the Three Heart Surprise!. Read about this great idea—modify it to suit your own style—but, put it into action and implement the keys to all successful romance:

• Your forethought and
• Your spouse’s surprise!

Wives, why not give your husbands a Valentine’s Day gift he’ll probably love more than anything else? (Surprisingly, it won’t deplete your bank account!) Sex every day for 7 days!

Sincerely,

Jim and Carrie

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