First of all, we apologize for the delay in sending this e-zine to you... but we had quite an amazing "interruption" in our lives! Last week, our first grand-child was born! She's a healthy and beautiful little girl and we're anticipating enjoying her lots!

This e-zine is our way of keeping in touch with you while providing simple tips and advice for you and your partner to use. Enjoy!

Love Quote

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back."
by Barbara DeAngelis

“May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with her love."
-Proverbs 5:18-19

Question about a couple in their 60's thinking about reconciling after a failed relationship: My ex-husband forwarded your site. We had intimacy problems. He is now a recovering alcoholic and we have talked about possibly reconciling in the future. Your site does speak to young adults. What about us older, in our mid-late 60's. Is there advice and hope for us?

Answer: What applies to young adults applies to us all—-even in your late 60’s. The focus must be to develop intimacy in all of its forms: sexual, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual.

To consider reconciling, there needs to be talk about many things from the past—-not to bring up bad memories, but to be able to communicate—and where necessary, take ownership of poor choices. Consider the following articles from our website:

22 Questions to Ask Your Partner
Questions to Ask Before Marriage

The first is for married couples, and the second is a list of questions that couples should ask before marriage. However, both of these lists of questions would be an excellent exercise for you two, because it is through questioning and talking about deep, important issues that intimacy can be developed.

We have an e-book, called the Seven Day Sex Challenge. Although sex is certainly a part of this challenge, it covers topics that would be great for you and your ex-husband to discuss:

• Commitment
• Forgiveness
• Design
• Vows
• Rewinding
• Sex

Question about keeping sex "hot" without using porn: Very recently I turned my life over to God -- really did it, though I made a profession of faith as a child. I've been through a lot of wonderful changes since then. My husband of the last 15 years has had a renewal of his own faith as well, though not nearly as dramatic as mine (I had much further to go). I love my husband with all my heart. We have a wonderful marriage, and for the most part, this renewal of faith has only deepened that.

We have always had a great sex life -- very passionate. However, our sex life has for most of our marriage involved things that it should not have. We have made pornography a part of it. We have even involved other sex partners in our marriage at times. I no longer want those things to be part of our lives. I know I can't hold that part of my life back if I'm really living for God. My husband and I haven't actually talked about this yet, but I know he knows how I feel, and I think he's feeling the same way -- I'm pretty sure anyway. At some point I know we'll have to talk, but right now I don't know where to start with that conversation.

Here's the thing. I don't want our sex life to suffer. I don't want my husband to resent the change in me because of this one area. I want our sex life to be as passionate and hot as it has always been. The thing is... I don't know how to have that kind of sex life. How do we "start over" in this area? How do we keep things passionate in that area when these other things have been part of our sex life for so long? We need to focus on something entirely different to find the heat, but honestly I don't even know where that focus is supposed to be. Sex right now feels really awkward.

Answer: Both you and your husband are to be commended for wanting to place the Lord in the centre of your relationship--even your sexual relationship! The awesome thing is that God made sex--and if we follow the "Owner's Manual" (The Bible) we find it will lead us to the best possible experience of sex and enjoyment! You will discover (and we hope our site reflects this) that sexual pleasure will not diminish in your experience--it will increase!

First, some mental changes--consider an illustration: have you ever met a person who drinks alcohol and then while under the influence actually believes their reaction time is faster rather than slower?! They fully believe this is true--but in actual fact, it is not! Here is the point we want to make from this illustration: you and your husband may believe pornography has spiced up your sex life, and now following Jesus and throwing out the porn will hurt the sex--but the opposite is true!

Yes, there will be a transition time when you both (especially your husband) will struggle with lustful thoughts--the memory of other women. However, by refocusing all of his sexual energy toward one person only--you--there will be an increase of passion for each other! As well, it will be guilt free!! Pornography is quite dangerous--and so we talk at length about it on our website--please read the following articles with your husband:

Dangers of Pornography
Breaking Free from Pornography

We think you and your husband should also read together from another website: Christian Nymphos. This site is written by wives who call themselves "Christian Nymphos". They are dedicated to enhancing sex with their husbands but without porn...!

• Last month, we spoke at a pastors’ luncheon concerning Intimacy in Pastoral Ministry.
• That same week, Carrie spoke at a MOPS (Mothers Of Preschoolers) group in a nearby city.
• On the Thursday of that same week, we were interviewed live on Internet Radio by Claudine Struck, author and radio host of Stay Sane Now. Claudine was doing a segment on Intimacy. Listen to our radio interview! Click here
• Next month (July 2nd) we will be on Claudine’s show again, talking about Dating: is it for singles, or couples, or both?
• A few weeks ago, we finished presenting The Intimate Couple marriage seminar (done over 2 evenings) to a small group of couples.