Arousing my husband

What are a few things to try when arousing my husband? He is very ticklish and so it's hard to massage, kiss the body. He doesn't like that, so I need other things to try on him. I can kiss passionately on the lips but that's about all I can do. We've been together for 7 years so rubbing on him doesn't work.

Our Answer:
If touch seems to be a problem... there are four other senses that can be used for arousal:

  1. Sight: One of man's most powerful arousal mechanisms is sight--so, visually stimulate him by dressing provocatively and sensually. Dancing for him, undressing in front of him will all work!

  2. Smell: The use of scented oils and candles in your bedroom can set the mood for sex in a way that can be very arousing for a man.

  3. Taste: A bit of chocolate on your tongue shared with your husband in a passionate kiss could be an interesting experiment in arousal--or have you ever considered playfully allowing your husband to use your body as a sensual table--eating chocolate or whipped cream off of your breasts and stomach?!

  4. Hearing: Speaking to your husband in low, sensual tones and telling him what you want to do with him in bed can be very stimulating. In fact, read the following article about sharing fantasies and making up erotic stories with him to stimulate both of you... remembering, of course, that there are certain inappropriate things that are outside of God's parameters for marriage (fantasizing about other people, for example).
Check out these articles for more ideas:
Sharing Sexual Fantasies
Foreplay Techniques and Tips

A few other ideas:
  • meet him at the door in something sexy (or if you’ve got kids, surprise him this way in the privacy of your bedroom)

  • join him in the shower

  • whisper in his ear that you’re not wearing any panties

  • leave him notes (in his briefcase, in his lunch-bag, in his jacket pocket, on the car seat) about what you want to do to him later on and what you want him to do to you

  • leave a sexy message on his private voice mail

  • spend a long time kissing, first gently and then more passionately; keep your clothes on for a while and then start to undress yourself

  • make up your own fantasy story about the two of you and share it with him

  • whisper in his ear that you love him and desire him

  • initiate sex in a new location (be sure it’s private though!)

  • experiment with a new position

  • ask him what new thing he’d like to try during sex

Take the initiative, be passionate, and have fun! Your dilemma may be a blessing in disguise if it motivates you to greater creativity!

Click here to post comments

Return to Q & A...Sex Advice.