Cheating Spouse

by Brenda
(south africa)

Question: What causes men to cheat on their wives? On top of it, tell the girlfriend that he's not married?

Our Answer:

Simply put, lack of good character. A man's lack of character allows him to be ruled by his passions and lust even to the point of betraying the holy trust upon which marriage is built.

To rebuild and restore a marriage that has suffered this kind of damage is very difficult. Without the husband's deep repentance and brokenness, there is little hope for this marriage. A husband's repentance would be seen as authentic and genuine when he is willing to:

  • submit to marriage counseling
  • place himself in an accountability relationship with another man
  • break off all ties with the woman he is having an affair with
  • find a support group (like Celebrate Recovery)
  • regularly attend church
  • develop healthy relationships with other married couples
  • renew his marriage vows with his wife

We do admit that some men give in to their passions because they've not been experiencing a fulfilling marriage. Rather than work at building a better marriage, they separate themselves (emotionally and sexually) from their wives and become highly vulnerable to having an affair.

When both husband and wife are willing to invest in their own relationship to have a happy and intimate marriage, then their love, commitment, and healthy sex life becomes a safeguard that prevents cheating and infidelity.

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