Difficulty Having Orgasms

by Ronda
(Triangle, Va )

I am having problems having an orgasm when I make love with my husband. Can someone help please? I feel like I'm not making my husband happy when we make love. He finishes, but I don't always unless I fake it or I help him with my orgasm.

Our Answer: A few issues need to be addressed here. First of all, time needs to be invested in learning how to bring you to orgasm. You and your husband have not had success in bringing you to climax ...so, it's time to do things differently!

Remember, intimacy is the goal, not an orgasm! So, try to remove the idea of failing, or the pressure to perform. As well, don't compare yourselves with others--especially the couples depicted in TV and movies!! No one said, for example, that husband and wife have to orgasm together during intercourse. In fact, many, many wives don't orgasm during intercourse--they are stimulated to a climax by their husbands manually.

You have helped bring yourself to orgasm. Why not try showing your husband how you did that? Try to describe it clearly and then let him try doing the same. Keep coaching him and he may just "get it right" one time!

The key to orgasm is fun and foreplay, and then patience! Your husband is going to have to remember that his goal is your pleasure!

Paramount in your situation is openness and communication! Don't fake orgasm. Be honest with your husband. Trust that he wants you to experience orgasm just as much as he himself does.

We would suggest that both you and your husband read the following articles together... and then set time aside to experiment!

The Elusive Orgasm

Foreplay Tips: Foreplay is very important to help bring a woman to arousal.

More Orgasm Info

Though you have difficulty reaching orgasm--don't give up! Just make sure you are clearly communicating with your husband as to what feels good, and excites you.