Effective Communication

by Lohi

My husband finds it very difficult to talk to me about his business and his choice of partners. We have had cause to talk about this, but it still goes on. Anytime I think about it, it kills my spirit and makes me feel left out. I deeply feel that he does not see me as a friend but he says that is not so. But why does it still go on? I have to keep finding out stuff by listening to his own end of a conversation on the phone or through text messages. Is this right?

Our Answer:
The most important element of this question--in our opinion--is your feeling of being left out and the crushing of your spirit. In some cases, the sort of arrangement you have described might be okay with some wives. However, a wife (or a husband) must always feel valued by their spouse. Whenever a wife feels her husband is keeping secrets or keeping her "out of the loop", mistrust can seep in.

There is only one solution: honest communication with your husband. It may be necessary to "set the stage" and discern the best time to broach the subject--pray and ask the Lord to help prepare your husband's heart.

Make sure your attitude is good, and emphasize the fact that it's not that you need to know every detail of your husband's business--but you are constantly feeling he is keeping secrets that builds mistrust...

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