forgiving past mistakes

by Crystal
(Bismarck, ND, USA)

Question: I forgave my husband for past mistakes, but he keeps bringing up my past mistakes when we argue. Sometimes when I feel my husband doesn't pay attention to me I will feel neglected and drink, which leads to him not trusting me. I have never had an affair. I am tired of hearing the past mistakes and there have been a good handful since we have been married for 15 yrs. I love him and forgive him, but he can't do it!

Our Answer: Crystal, you and your husband need to have a conversation about forgiveness and trust, two of the most powerful ingredients in a relationship! Why don't the two of you sit down and read through these two articles together.

Learning How to Forgive in Marriage

Trust in Relationships is Vital

After reading the articles, have a conversation about what you've read and how it applies to your relationship. It's very important that you communicate well. Read our article about Barriers to Effective Communication.

We also wanted to address your comment "when I feel my husband doesn't pay attention to me". Crystal, it's important that you don't wait for your husband to be attentive to you in your marriage. Especially at times that you feel neglected, you need to reach out to your husband to reconnect with him. We'd like you to read through an article we wrote for the "Intimacy in Marriage" website. Click here to read that article.