How do I know if my boyfriend really loves me or not?

by Matha
(Ethiopia)

We have been together for the past 2 years. I always ask him to marry me, but he always says, "Ok, I like to." After that day, he never talks about the issue again. I always ask him the same question and his reason is that he doesn't have enough salary but I don't think it is because of the difference between our salaries. I rent a house and live alone. He always comes and sleeps with me and enjoys being with me but he doesn't give even a cent to share. I am in confusion because when I am with him, I always feel good, full, have confidence and joy, and so on. He has lots of good things. We didn't make love because I always tell him I do not want to have sex before marriage. He accepts this and we use many things to ejaculate. He had a bad experience like eating chate, smoking and drinking a little. I made him to stop. Sometimes, I'm scared because maybe he still does these things and is hiding it from me. ... Please advise me so I can better understand it and decide.

Our Answer:
We think you are being much too easy on your boyfriend!

It sounds like he is getting many benefits of marriage without commiting to you. You have been together for two years already. That is long enough for him to know what he wants. You deserve to know what his plans are for the future. When he says, "Ok, I'd like to" he may just be stalling--and doean't really want to, and has no intention of marrying you.

It must be very clear to him, that sex is only for marriage--in fact don't offer any sexual satisfaction at all. When you take this approach you will soon discover what his true motives are. If he only wants sex, comfort, and a nice place to stay without it costing him a cent... then he will not be a good husband for you!

You must think about yourself as a princess! This man must earn your affection--not demand it and assume he can have whatever he wants. No! You must raise your standards and tell him either consider marriage or find someone else--otherwise you're wasting your time with this guy!

Sincerely,

Jim and Carrie