How do I react to my wife's career?

My wife is an actress for independent films and loves doing it. That's great and I support her all the way. An issue came up about her kissing another guy if her role in the movie calls for it. I asked her "If I said it was ok, would you consider kissing the guy? and she said "yes." Well of course that hurt and I didn't really know how to respond to it. She said she wouldn't do it if I said not to, so here is the problem. What do I do? I want her to pursue what she loves and have fun doing it and I would never stop her, but at the same time I know it would destroy me inside to know that she kissed another guy. I don't want to hold her back but at the same time I don't want her to kiss another guy. Is she justified kissing him because it's a movie, am I just freaking out, am I right to feel this way? So many questions I don't know what to do, please help.

Our Answer:
It is great that you have an attitude of wanting to see your wife gain success in all she does as an actress. The fact, though, that you are bothered about the idea of your wife kissing another man means that it would be hurtful to you, and thereby damaging to your relationship. The question is not "Should you be bothered by the kissing scene?" You are bothered by the idea, and so that is one area where your wife needs to show you respect (see Ephesians 5:23-).

There are other Christian actors that feel the same way as you. You may be familiar with the popular Fireproof movie that came out a while ago. In that movie, the main character played by Kirk Cameron has a scene where he kisses his "movie wife". However, Kirk has an arrangement with his real wife that he won't kiss another woman in any movies--and so, she stands in for the actress, and it is his real wife he is kissing in the scene! Click here for more info on Kirk's commitment to only kissing his wife.

Your relationship is far more important than money or fame. There is no sacrifice too large--both for you and your wife--in order to keep your marriage strong, even if it means your wife doesn't kiss another man while acting.

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