husband less interested in sex than earlier in marriage

by Dawn

My husband and I have been happily married for 13 years, and still are, but lately he just isn't interested in sex like he used to be. He used to want to make love almost every day and now it's maybe once a week. He has had prostate trouble which is now better, but I can't initiate sex at all anymore.... I have talked to him about this and he kindly says it's just me being insecure but something is different. He is an amazing husband and father and I love him with all my heart and I know that he loves me. I just don't understand what has changed.

Our Answer:
Unquestionably, things happened to change a man's sex drive. There will be medical issues--like his prostrate problem--these have an effect, but we have no expertise in these areas and can make no comment. It may be wise to consult with your doctor.

There are other reasons that a man's sex drive might diminish. Here are just a few:

  1. increasing age

  2. stress and emotional struggles

  3. pornography (or if not porn, then sexual distractions caused by responding to a sexualized environment)

  4. decreasing emotional connection

  5. reduced intimacy spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually can result in a decrease in the sexual component of intimacy.

In an attempt to address your concerns, you need to have open, honest conversations with one another. If there seems to be no answers forthcoming, we suggest you talk about taking a do-it-yourself 7 day intimacy course! The 7 Day Sex Challenge is an intense 7 day course addressing all areas of intimacy. This course is a wonderful way to re-ignite your sex life, and catapult you into a deeper relationship!

Learn more here.

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Sep 30, 2011
my husband not interested
by: Anonymous

Hi, I have the same issue. My husband is not interested now. We have sex once in 2 months and I have to approach him for that. He was very active for 4 years after marriage and this is our 10 year. I feel so depressed and insecure.

He says he loves me only his work pressures make him feel no emotions for me. We have spoken about this and every time he says he will change his attitude towards sex and every thing will be fine but I can't see any changes and our sex life is getting worse day by day. We are a very young couple. We have 2 kids. He is 36 and I am 30.

I also expected an answer to this question. What should I do to enhance his interest towards me like before?

Jan 30, 2012
stress plus medical=problems
by: Anonymous

I have read where prostate problems can stem from dropping testosterone levels. lower t equals lower libido. malfunctioning prostate often also means cannot arouse or orgasm. His brain knows its only a medical issue but his pride cannot deal with this. He feels inadequate as a man when he is not able to perform no matter what the reason. Depression sets in and it just snowballs from there. A doctor and counselor are both needed to clean this up. However, in the meantime you must find ways to give him pleasure with no expectation of intercourse. Massages, baths, grooming(brush his hair or massage his head,lotion his feet and hands), extra snuggling, hand holding. When his brain catches on that you love him no matter what his medical condition is, perhaps his pride will return and he may be able to perform again. But even if he cannot he will likely be willing to be creative to meet your needs.

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