Husband Too Tired for Sex

Question: [ husband too tired for sex ]
My husband and I used to get together 3 times a week, and now for quite a while, his work is dictating how often we have sex. I really resent that. It's like he has this attitude "If we do [have sex]--fine. If I can't you'll have to wait until tomorrow" ... (which isn't always a guarantee).

Why won't he consistently put us first? His work is making him tired all the time! The majority of the time is 'Can we wait until tomorrow? I'm getting sick of that! Please help, I'm the one with the higher sex drive.

Answer
We recommend that you and your husband have a heart to heart talk! Even better, as part of your talk, read some of our website's articles together. Here are just a few to start with:

Marriage Trouble Can Be Overcome
Soulmate Connection

Here are some important considerations for both of you to keep in mind:

  • It has been proven that the less someone has sex, the less they desire it.
  • Sex problems are one of the top two causes of marital breakdown. (Money is the other one!)
  • Sex not only brings a physical release, but more importantly, it brings a wonderful and unique emotional closeness to the husband and wife.

You and your husband need to take a serious look at these questions:

  1. Is our marriage relationship a priority in our lives? If yes, what are we doing to make it a priority?
  2. What can we change about our life-style to give quality time to our relationship? Having a husband too tired for sex is an indicator that something needs to change!
  3. Am I (the wife) showing respect to my husband? Lack of respect and admiration from the wife to the husband will definitely reduce his desire for sex with her. (As frustrated as you may feel, try to understand how he feels. Be sure that your tone of voice conveys love and respect.)
  4. Am I (the husband) demonstrating love to my wife by cherishing her and meeting her needs (sexual needs included)? If I don't meet her needs, who will? (Certainly you don't want another man to fill her needs!)

We recently designed a marriage course called "The 7-Day Sex Challenge". We guarantee that if you and your husband take on the 7 Day Sex Challenge together, great changes will take place in your relationship!

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