i need my husband to spank me why and how

Question: I need my husband to spank me how and why. I do not want him to ask me just do it. I am a devoted Christian woman and I feel our relationship would be better if I felt he was more in charge.

Our Answer:

Dear Reader,

We are limited in how we can respond to your commment:

  • we have no knowledge of your marital relationship at all

  • we are not professional sex therapists

  • we are not privy to your personal background

Consequently, comments on your sexual desire might not be helpful in the long term for your relationship. That being said, there are 2 articles you need to read that will help you:

The first is Christian Views on Sex and it outlines God's parameters on sex--the Commandments from the Bible, as well as the Principles that God's Word teaches. When a husband and wife desire to follow God's ways, they will discover that the Bible teaches that sexuality within marriage can be a wonderful, exciting experience for both husband and wife!

The second article is a detailed reponse to another reader that had a desire for spanking: Spanking for Sexual Pleasure

We hope this reading will be of help!


Jim and Carrie

Comments for i need my husband to spank me why and how

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Dec 29, 2010
I need my husband to spank me.
by: Blondie

Basically you need to ask him to do it because it arouses you. You need to eradicate all ideas from him that he is punishing you or hurting you.

Personally I think anything to do with punishment arouses something unhealthy. Like a childhood hurt or something.

If it is just spanking for sexual reasons he shouldn't have any reason not to do it. It's not hurting him. I would persevere. This is quite common in a lot of marriages. Think of it as a glorified massage.

Jan 09, 2011
Playful Spanking
by: Jim and Carrie

Let's face it: the Bible doesn't say anything about spanking or not spanking as part of sexual play. [In another context, we might be tempted to refer to the verse that tells us "when you're hit on one cheek, turn the other"! Sorry for this non-serious comment! ;-)] And so, you can?t automatically say "it's not Christian-like to enjoy spanking during a time of sex play". It depends on some other factors... If we are talking about playful spanking, that's one thing. In this scenario, you need not have a guilty conscience. On the other hand, if we're talking about spanking in order to bring pain, or to intentionally degrade, then that's another thing altogether.

*This comment is quoted from another answer to a similar question on our site.

Aug 18, 2012
The First Step in the Journey Begins with a Word
by: Anonymous

Spanking in the post-modern era has much in common with sex during the Victorian era. Although spanking is a virtually universal language understood by men and women around the globe, acknowledged practitioners have become persona non grata in polite society.

Mass entertainment media has created the illusion that rewarding intimacy occurs spontaneously. This fantasy has created a situation in which, much as proper Victorian women had great difficulty communicating their need for paroxysmal satisfaction during copulation, post-modern women experience considerable difficulty sharing their desire to be compelled by a man's hand into apposite submission.

One particular obstacle to communication in this regard is the reluctance of many women to appear to be needy. Although getting past this stumbling block requires putting feminine vanity aside, in addition to recognizing that all mutually satisfactory resolutions in marriage must be negotiated, the results of beginning a dialogue can prove infinitely gratifying in terms of an improved marriage.

Dec 31, 2012
by: Anonymous

I agree. Dialogue is everything. Your spouse is the closest one to you, or should be, and talking about the bedroom and what one's need is is important, especially if it is something that you think might not be the normal thing in the sense of being a bit off the track. If it is important to you then it is normal for you or can be with an understanding spouse. These kinds of things can ignite the bedroom if it is something which never goes away no matter how much you pray. Unfortunately we have bad examples on the internet about punishment and domination etc. which shouldn't be anything to do with it really.

Jan 07, 2013
need to be spanked
by: Anonymous

I am in need of my husband to spank me. How do I approach this subject with my husband?

Jan 17, 2013
Spanking in Marriage
by: Anonymous

I think the subject is extremely complicated. Some just like the eroticism of it, which is fine in my opinion. Then you get some wives who seem to want to be dominated by it. I am no expert in that scenario.
Then you get those who like to be punished which is a murky area to my mind.

One must bear in mind that some husbands like this as well, but I don't think domination would be healthy in that respect as of course he is the head of the woman.

Some like to be dominated only in the bedroom for a change of routine which I think is fine so long as it has no bearing on the marriage out of the bedroom in that it is only a sexual thing.

Feb 20, 2013
Need husband to spank
by: Anonymous

If you need husband to spank then you have to ask him. Start small and build up from there.

Make sure he disconnects it from punishment and all the stuff one can read about it on the web.

Simplify it as a glorified massage in an a certain zone and tell him the exact area where he needs to do it.

Keep away from words like BDSM etc. That could frighten anyone off.

I speak as a husband.

Feb 25, 2013
Getting hubby involved
by: Anonymous

The logical answer is to ask him. He cannot read your mind. You need to clarify though what it is not so that he doesn't get the wrong idea. It is not bdsm or punishment like you see a lot of on websites. Spanking can be erotic for some just because. It doesn't need all the other trappings.

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