Developing Intellectual Intimacy

Most couples don’t realize the importance of intellectual intimacy in a relationship, but it is a vital component to an overall sense of closeness.

1. Communication
   To experience closeness here requires the ability to convey what you are thinking to your partner as clearly as possible, confident that whatever you say or think will be valued.
2. Caring
   Caring, in this context, is willingness to entertain new thoughts and ideas, and come to a deep level of understanding. Caring results in giving each other the mutual freedom to think independently so one partner does not dominate the other, demanding that they think the same way about everything. It is best defined as being able to be myself--I can be just me, without fear that my thoughts or ideas will be rejected or demeaned.
3. Commitment
   When commitment is present in a relationship, then both husband and wife fully know (mentally) that their spouse is loyal and can be fully trusted.
4. Common Values
   As related to mental closeness, common values represent the same world view, or philosophic approach to life. Both husband and wife are seeing their world through the same lenses.

Learn how to develop the mental connection with your spouse.

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