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Is it Okay to Use Sex Toys?
Question: [ Is it okay to use sex toys ?]
"Is it okay for a Christian to use sex toys during intercourse—toys such as a vibrator, etc.?"
Answer:
Intimacy is based on communication, caring, commitment, and common values. Agreeing on what is “acceptable” is the common values part—and is the basis of your question about sex toys. Our first question must be: What does the Bible teach and say? The answer: nothing. And so, we recommend learning biblical principles that, when followed, develop intimacy and ignite sexual enjoyment!
These principles keep us close to God’s design and then, in turn, draw us closer to our spouse:
- the One and Only Principle: Sexual intimacy thrives within the covenant of marriage: there must be a relationship based on commitment and security.
- the Back to Basics Principle: Experiment, have variety, but don’t neglect genital union as the foundation of sex.
- the Hooked on You Principle: Don’t allow anything into your life that draws you away from your spouse. Your spouse must be the only person who sexually excites you (no porn!) and satisfies you.
- the Good For Both Principle: As long as it’s good for both—not hurtful or demeaning, but pleasurable, then go for it!
- the Give and Take Principle: Focus on your spouse being pleasured. Determine if a hesitation (trying oral sex, for example) is a moral or biblical issue, or the result of upbringing. Sex is meant to be fun!
When we focus on giving and not taking—we can always come to agreement! In following the principles, sex toys are OK as long as both partners are comfortable using them. More detail can be found in the article, Christian Views on Sex.
Is it Okay to Use Sex Toys?... Let us point out another consideration:
Vibrators can be tools to help bring a wife to orgasm when the husband has difficulty doing so. He may have physical challenges that don’t give him enough control over the use of his hands and fingers. Or perhaps the wife has experienced some trauma (given birth to a child perhaps!) and it is more difficult for her to reach orgasm without the help of a vibrator. Of course, the husband should never give up trying to learn how to best bring his wife to climax while she gives him tips and suggestions about what feels good. Still, if it is difficult for the wife to reach orgasm, don’t be afraid to use a tool to help. That is better than the wife feeling frustrated and/or the husband feeling inadequate. The goal is sexual and emotional intimacy! If you can better achieve that with the help of a tool, go for it!
Remember, when wondering "is it okay to use sex toys", both husband and wife vitally need to communicate openly! Read through our website "The Intimate Couple" and then check our resource page for encouragement in your relationship!
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