Is Masturbating with My Boyfriend a Sin?

by selam
(Ethiopia)

I did this thing with my boyfriend because sex before marriage is sin. Now, I feel guilty because maybe masturbation is sin. We did like this: we take off our clothes and kiss ... and I help him to ejaculate without intercourse. Is it sin or not?

Our Answer:
We think you're asking us the wrong question! (Yes, it is sin--but there is a bigger issue here!)

You should ask this question: "Am I making it too easy for my boyfriend by giving him a sexual experience and participating in foreplay and masturbation?" Yes, you are! Sex is for marriage only. Your boyfriend may not even be thinking about marrying you--why should he? It seems he can live with you and basically have sex with you--except he isn't having intercourse--yet.

Don't feel guilty about masturbation--the Lord will forgive that! You must, however, be firm with your boyfriend. No marriage? Then no sex and no taking off clothes! Keep clothes on and don't let anything go further...

The reason we feel strongly about this, is that the Bible says, "Don't awaken love (meaning sexual experience here) before its time." Before marriage, a couple needs to develop the other types of intimacy: intellectual, emotional, and spiritual. Sex is so powerful, that only marriage can contain it! God designed it for marriage as a "glue" to hold it together. Outside of marriage--it can be like dynamite that blows couples apart...

Your boyfriend's commitment to you and your relationship is seen by whether he thinks you and having sex with you is worth waiting for!

Sincerely,

Jim and Carrie

Comments for Is Masturbating with My Boyfriend a Sin?

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Sep 16, 2010
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Wish we had waited
by: Anonymous

We didn't take our clothes off but we did make each other reach a climax. It ruined our Honeymoon. We both wish we had waited.

Oct 22, 2010
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Unbelievable...
by: Anonymous

You people are so incredibly un-realistic, ignorant and judgemental.

I feel sorry for this poor girl. Your trying to take a circumstance where two young people are abstaining from sexual intercourse by exploring their sexuality in a much safer fashion and making them feel guilty about it.

FYI - Sex blows couples apart married or not, so do a lot of other things like financial issues, differences in opinion on raising children, personality clashes, boredom, drinking, and the list goes on and on.

Many brainwashed people live un-happily in miserable mariages because they believe it is a sin to go any other direction. This is a sad condition of the weak and easily manipulated mind.

This is innocent exploration of sexuality with a partner and there is NOTHING wrong with it whatsoever.


Oct 27, 2010
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Re: unbelievable
by: Jim and Carrie

Thanks for your comments, anonymous, but...Please re-read the question carefully:

1. The writer stated she felt guilty
2. The question was asked "Is it[masturbating her boyfriend] a sin or not?"

We will stick with the original answer...

Also, the stats corroborate that sexual activity prior to marriage increases the probability of a failed marriage!

The facts are clear, but not heeding them is a "sad condition of the weak and easily manipulated mind".

May 04, 2013
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My piece of advice
by: Anonymous

I think you should abstain.

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