Is Masturbating with My Boyfriend a Sin?

by selam
(Ethiopia)

I did this thing with my boyfriend because sex before marriage is sin. Now, I feel guilty because maybe masturbation is sin. We did like this: we take off our clothes and kiss ... and I help him to ejaculate without intercourse. Is it sin or not?

Our Answer:
We think you're asking us the wrong question! (Yes, it is sin--but there is a bigger issue here!)

You should ask this question: "Am I making it too easy for my boyfriend by giving him a sexual experience and participating in foreplay and masturbation?" Yes, you are! Sex is for marriage only. Your boyfriend may not even be thinking about marrying you--why should he? It seems he can live with you and basically have sex with you--except he isn't having intercourse--yet.

Don't feel guilty about masturbation--the Lord will forgive that! You must, however, be firm with your boyfriend. No marriage? Then no sex and no taking off clothes! Keep clothes on and don't let anything go further...

The reason we feel strongly about this, is that the Bible says, "Don't awaken love (meaning sexual experience here) before its time." Before marriage, a couple needs to develop the other types of intimacy: intellectual, emotional, and spiritual. Sex is so powerful, that only marriage can contain it! God designed it for marriage as a "glue" to hold it together. Outside of marriage--it can be like dynamite that blows couples apart...

Your boyfriend's commitment to you and your relationship is seen by whether he thinks you and having sex with you is worth waiting for!

Sincerely,

Jim and Carrie