Low Sex Drive.
Is Masturbation Okay?

Question: [ Low sex drive ]
"My wife and I are Christians and committed to each other. However, one has a much lower sex drive than the other. What is your view on masturbation for those in between times if porn is not involved?"

Answer
Sex was designed to be a 2 person sport! We are of the persuasion that the question shouldn’t be “Why not masturbation?” Rather, “Why should it be necessary?”

1 Corinthians 7 teaches husbands and wives that they must make an effort to meet the sexual needs of their partner, and not to withhold sex from their spouse. Often, God's design for marriage and sex is short-circuited by wrong thinking. We think, "sex is really just for men, and women sort of do their best to comply." This is not God's best! Husbands and wives must pursue intimacy. For the husband, the top priority is to make sure his wife feels cherished, valued, and cared for.

Since a wife is designed to be responsive to a loving husband, your focused care for your wife will be the main contributing factor in her wanting to participate in sex.

Clear communication, the pursuit of intimacy, and the meeting of your wife's needs first will eventually result in great sex! It takes more time--but it is so worth it!!

To start a new page in your sexual relationship, especially when one of you has a low sex drive, you both need to be equipped with better understanding of God’s design:

Reading the following articles TOGETHER will help:
Women: Lost Interest in Sex?
Moms and Sex

May we also suggest the 7-Day Sex Challenge for you and your wife!? This 7 day mini-course will bring you back to the biblical foundation of intimacy--and help rekindle great sex! Check out: Seven-Day Sex Challenge.

FYI: Take a look at our March 2009 E-Zine for a link to a great Christian resource about masturbation. Scroll down the e-zine page to the section "Books we're reading".

Thanks for submitting this excellent question! We wish you and your wife all the best as you seek God's best for your sexual relationship.

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