Is There a Place for Masturbation in Marriage?

Question
"Is there any place for masturbation in the marriage relationship?"

Answer
The Bible does not mention masturbation. There are some Christians who believe that the biblical reference to Onanism (Genesis 38:9) is masturbation—and of course, it can’t be—since Onan was not masturbating! In fact, he was having intercourse with his dead brother’s wife but pulled out before ejaculating to prevent pregnancy.

Any commentary from a Christian perspective, then, has to be with issues related to masturbation—like entertaining lustful thoughts, for example. Masturbation often happens while someone views lewd or pornographic material. This is obviously sin, since Jesus told us not to look on a woman to lust after her. (Matthew 5:28). The feelings of shame that arise from this are obviously detrimental to intimacy in any marriage. For more information about pornography, read the articles on its dangers:

• The Dangers of Pornography
• Breaking Free from Pornography

Remember, sexuality in marriage is about intimacy growing between husband and wife within a deepening, sexual relationship. Therefore, clear communication of desires, hesitations, and feelings about all sexual issues between you and your spouse is necessary so that you avoid anything that draws you apart from each other. Everything you do should be drawing you closer to your spouse.

Other articles you might find helpful:

• Christian Views on Sex explores what is acceptable, what is not—and why not?
• Christian Marriage Advice on Sex and Marriage

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