Pathetic Sex

by melissa
(ny)

Question:
I've been with my boyfriend for 14 years. Our sex life is not good for me. He can give me sex for about 4 minutes or less and there is no 4 play. I try my best to turn him on. I give him oral sex which is big of me because I'm not into it but I like to satisfy him. He has never given me oral sex and he doesn't put much effort into the sex at all. I feel like it's just a waste of my time to have sex anymore and I think that I'm just being used. I rather masturbate because there's no way I can reach an orgasm with him. It's this way because he doesn't do anything. I really don't know why we are still together and I'm thinking about calling it quits even though I love him because I'm so unhappy.

Our Answer:
From our perspective, marriage is the only relationship strong enough to hold something as powerful as sex! If you are not committed to spending the rest of your life with this man, why are you having sex with him? You must see yourself as a wonderful, valuable woman that Jesus loves and died for. His sacrificial death proved how much He loves you!

Personally, we don't even think you should give yourself sexually to your boyfriend or any other man--until that man proves and demonstrates his total commitment to you by marrying you. We know this sounds old-fashioned--but you are so valuable!

Your boyfriend is self-centred, and self-gratifying--dump him!

Please understand that sex is not the most important thing about intimacy--it is 1 of 4 parts of intimacy. (Read more at: Intimacy and Sex). Many couples make the mistake of entering into sex before marriage. If couples would focus on refraining from sex and, instead, develop the other types of intimacy, they would discover the real joys of sex inside their marriages!

Men must learn and demonstrate they know how to live self-sacrificing, honoring, cherishing lives for their women. Getting sex too soon is bad for a relationship! There is no proving grounds for the guys! There is no extended period for him to practice self-control and show what he's really going to be like later!

Spend time going through our site and discover God's plan for marriages. Follow God's design, and you will have the marriage of your dreams!

Sincerely,

Jim and Carrie