Relationship Communication: From One Heart to Another

Is it any wonder that communication between couples is the

• subject of most articles on marriage,
• theme of pre marriage counseling,
• problem with men and romance,
• topic of anger management, and
• center of marriage conflict?

Have you ever noticed that we are often more polite and friendly to strangers on the telephone than to our own partner? Simply, we take one another for granted and this shows up in our communication. Let’s take a first step towards improving the messages we’re sending from one heart to another with a few tips on verbal conversation.

Avoid these common communication busters.

• Raising your voice
• Speaking without making eye contact
• Reading the paper, playing video games, or watching television during a conversation
• Speaking with sarcasm
• Forgetting to show common courtesy (“please” and “thank you”)

On the other hand, increase intimacy by:

• Smiling when you speak and listen
• Not interrupting the other person
• Stopping your activity, giving your partner your full attention
• Practicing active listening (refer to our Listening Skills article)
• Demonstrate your value and appreciation of your partner by using care in your conversations.

How you communicate verbally with your spouse will either develop or destroy intimacy.

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