Sexual Intimacy

(houston, texas)

I have been married for almost 8 years and we have never had a good sexual relationship...from day one (honeymoon night) it has been bad!

Now a light has been turned on and we realize that we need to change our sexual relationship... how do we start? My wife is so hurt and mad from the 8 years of rejection... she wants out.

I love her... she is my best friend... I have treated her like a friend and not a lover our entire marriage. Where do we start???

Our Answer:
You have said you've treated your wife like a friend, not a lover, and that she is so hurt, angry, and has experienced rejection from you--she now wants out of your marriage. We think there are a few assumptions that can be made:

1. your marriage is in trouble


2. sex is the tip of the iceberg in your relationship


3. your wife has little hope for your marriage

We would offer a simple, 3-step action plan:

1. approach your wife and offer to go to marriage counseling together with a Christian Counselor


2. agree to put into practice what is suggested


3. begin reading the Intimate Couple website articles together
   
   Start with Questions To Ask Your Partner.

Your wife needs to know you are committed to meeting her needs and placing her above yourself. It can start by learning about Christian marriage and reading good literature together that can help change your thinking, as you learn how to live for your wife.