She broke up with me

by lovable503
(South Dakota)

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 4 months and it went well but she has always had issues with what she calls immaturity. I do kid around a lot with her kids and her and as I look back I can see where that would be such a turn off ‘cause I am supposed to be a man, not a child. The other thing is when she asks me a question instead of answering her straight I make a joke or a small fib thinking I am being funny. Looking back, there again I’m turning her off. Also, when it comes time to make a move intimately, I wait too long and she usually does it. I just am trying to hard to make her happy. I didn’t want to try too fast but she told me she wants me to take control and I never did. Another mistake--she told me it feels like she has another kid instead of a man which I can see. I love her so much and am really trying to change. any help would be appreciated. I am 40, she is 39.

Our Answer:
It sounds like your ex-girlfriend did really like you, but was totally turned off by your immaturity. Our advice is: Don’t try to get back together without a strategy to become more responsible and mature.

How do you become more mature?

  1. Take on more responsibility. At your place of work, do what you need to do to prepare yourself for advancement. Work hard! Take courses.

  2. Set goals for your life: financial, work-related, personal development and, of course, relational. Make your goals 1, 2, and 3 year goals. For each goal, develop a 5 step plan of action to accomplish your goals.

  3. Volunteer at a local charity in order to develop an attitude of public service, and giving back to the community (a very mature attitude!). This also promotes the ability to see life from new perspectives.

All the Best In Your Pursuit of Maturity!

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