Snickerdoodles
(ie Using a Code Word)

by A. W.
(Texas)

This isn't necessarily about creatively leaving messages--but it is something we do to make our life a bit easier/better.

When I was a child, my mom used to help me learn how to back off and stop being bossy by using the word "snickerdoodles." So, if I heard her say "hmmm, I'd really like some snickerdoodles today." I knew she was giving me a code word to shut up and stop being bossy without calling me out or blaming me--in other words she was giving me the opportunity to use self-control.

So borrowing from that idea, my husband and I use a code word in our marriage--usually it's used in "discussions" (especially the heated kind). Whenever he needs a bit of time to think and doesn't want to be pushed he says his code word, and I know to back off and give him time. It's his way of saying "I need some time to cool down, and I'll come back when I'm ready to talk."

I know it sounds odd or perhaps even artificial, but it is OH so helpful to us.