Developing Spiritual Intimacy

Spiritual intimacy is often difficult to attain, but is actually the most significant type of closeness since it impacts the other areas so powerfully. Many couples find it rather awkward to develop, because it is really a tri-intimacy: closeness among three: husband, wife, and God!

spiritual intimacy


Praying Together

A Marriage Prayer for You to Use

As with other forms of closeness, there are a number of critical components or building blocks needed to develop that close spiritual relationship.

The Four C's of Developing Spiritual Intimacy:

  1. Communication
    Talking about our spiritual journey and experiences with each other...and with the Lord... is the basis of everything here. Prayer (talking with God) is part of the process of increasing that special close relationship. Many couples find praying out loud with each other embarrassing at first (but so was sex the first few times!!). It is really a matter of practice, realizing we can talk to Jesus like we would another person right beside us.
  2. Caring
    Caring for your spouse's spiritual life involves openness, honesty, and vulnerability. Coupled with this caring is a freedom for both husband and wife to be completely themselves, regardless of the perceived expectations of their spouse. Closeness with the Lord and with each other isn’t possible if we feel the pressure (internally or externally) to be someone other than ourselves.
  3. Commitment
    We need to see both sides of commitment: obviously, it applies to couples being totally committed to each other. At the same time, though, the spiritual dimension of the relationship grows as the husband and wife, together, experience a growing commitment to God, and a trust in Him!
  4. Common Values
    Couples don’t have to necessary believe all the same things; nevertheless, unless there are fundamental common beliefs and core values, there can be no spiritual union. When one partner is Christian and the other is Muslim, for example, there can be no intimacy spiritually.


When a couple continues kneeling in prayer together on a regular basis, spiritual intimacy between that husband and wife is greatly increased. Read more about how the habit of praying together is essential and foundational for building a divine connection in couples.

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