Trust in Relationships is Vital

Trust in relationships is the oxygen that keeps them alive and thriving! Here at The Intimate Couple, we're committed to helping couples develop the four types of intimacy:

    1. sexual
    2. intellectual
    3. emotional
    4. spiritual

Since trust is so fundamental in every kind of intimacy, we want to give five practical tips that will save your relationship--or prevent a relationship disaster!

trust in relationships

Let's use the following acronym for the recipe for trust in relationships:

  • T - Time
  • R - Respect
  • U - Understanding
  • S - Security
  • T - Testing

Let's consider a young lady has some guy in her life who is obviously wanting a romantic relationship. Can she trust him?

Time

Developing trust takes time. There is no fast way. Period. Those who would trust immediately--with no prior experience--are simple-minded and naive. Relationships are living, growing connections between two people...

  • spiritually
  • emotionally
  • intellectually

Within the unique relationship of marriage, the growing sexual connection also exists.

Like baking bread or aging wine, rushing a relationship, and not giving proper time is disastrous.

Build Trust With Time:

  • set firm boundaries as to when he is "allowed" to hold your hand, offer that first kiss, etc.
  • don't permit fast-tracking! Put your relationship on a timeline. For example, "We will go and visit my relatives before I commit emotionally".

Respect

Nothing builds trust in relationships more solidly than respect. A man demonstrates respect for you by

  • recognizing the importance of your family, your beliefs, your preferences, and your life circumstances
  • valuing your opinion as much or more than his own
  • minimizing the natural physical impulse of touching and kissing
  • maximizing the emotional/spiritual part of your relationship
  • not using the "L" word; I love you is an out-of-bounds statement based only on emotion and physical attraction. Until TRUST is firmly built, he doesn't have any idea what he's talking about.

Understanding

Until you understand some key ideas about trust in relationships, your relationship cannot succeed.

  • Trust is earned. A guy who pleads, "You can trust me" should not be trusted.
  • Trust grows in an atmosphere of love... and love is giving, not getting. When a guy begins to pout and show disappointment when he isn't getting what he wants, drop him!
  • Women tend to be too trusting (this trait is part of God's design), so women, rely on other guys in your life -- fathers, brothers, brother-in-laws, other "guy friends" you trust, to give their opinions of the new boyfriend.
  • You need to listen to those who love you. Who in your life can say to you, "Drop this guy. He's a jerk!", and you'll listen? If you won't listen to anyone--you're not ready for a romantic relationship!

Security

Security is born out of commitment. A guy demonstrates commitment when he is able to "stick with things" in the face of adversity. If a guy can't keep a job, doesn't keep long-term relationships, and has broken family relationships, be careful! Where's the security in the relationship?

Testing

Trust in relationships cannot happen without testing. Most girls aren't willing to do this because they want to trust the guy so badly they proceed blindly ahead... disaster! I'm not talking about manipulating the guy to see how he responds. I'm talking about opening your eyes and evaluating! Test the relationship:

  • Is he ever selfish?
  • Does he display anger at you or anyone else?
  • Are your friends and relatives happy with this guy?
  • Is he a frequent drinker?
  • Is he totally honest?
If you aren't willing to TEST, your relationship is in jeopardy!

Trust in Relationships takes

  • T - Time
  • R - Respect
  • U - Understanding
  • S - Security
  • T - Testing

Follow the pattern, and your relationship will be a success!

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