How Can We Overcome Unresolved Issues?

Question
"What new approach would you use to bring up a problem topic that repeatedly has been unresolved in the past because my spouse justifies his actions with reasons and excuses that I do not totally accept?"

Answer
Here’s the classic answer to your question: It depends!

A few other questions need to be asked: is the problem topic a sin? If so, then make an appeal to your spouse to talk openly with you; or if he is not willing to talk to you—then to seek professional counsel. If he is not willing, then leave it up to the Lord to speak to him: there’s not much else you can do. Rarely does nagging help. If the issue is big enough to damage your relationship if it isn’t dealt with, an honest, very serious talk is necessary where you outline the need for professional help.

If, however, what you are referring to is not sin, but more about personal opinion, consider Scriptures’ reminders to both husbands and wives:

Husbands, love your wife as Christ loved the church—this means lay down your own life (your own ideas, reasons, opinions, etc ), and give preferential treatment to your wife!

Wives, on the other hand, are not commanded to “change their husbands”, but to submit to them as to the Lord. So emotionally, let the differing issue go, and trust God to arrange for the opportune moment to talk about the issue again, when your husband is not feeling defensive. If it appears this isn’t going to happen in the near future, pray and see what God will do!

Why not read the following articles:

• Will Marriage Conflict Threaten Intimacy?
• Intimacy Problems