What Constitutes Marriage?

Question [ what constitutes marriage ]
As Christians, my girlfriend and I absolutely believe in marriage and the lifetime commitment. Our question is what constitutes marriage in God's eyes? Is it a statement of that commitment to each other and before friends and Pastor (for example) or does it include that, plus the legal government part of it?

Answer
When we talk about marriage, it is defined in our minds within the context of our own culture. For example, Abraham and Sarah in the Old Testament did not have marriage as we have it today: there was no legal, civil ceremony. However, Joseph and Mary did have a ceremony that was religious in nature—not civil. In our North American culture, marriage is defined by a civil ceremony—and in some cases, religious as well. In other words, with no “piece of paper” there is no marriage. Those who would say, “A piece of paper makes no difference” forget that a driver’s license, or a passport, or a deed to a house, are “only pieces of paper” also!

The marriage ceremony with the legal component is also a demonstration of commitment. You cannot really say you are committed if you haven’t gone through the complete process of commitment.

In our culture, to end a marriage by divorce also requires a legal process. In other words, the courts acknowledge that the marriage certificate is a binding commitment that cannot easily be undone. They require a certificate of divorce to show that a marriage has ended.

In our experience, those asking this question often want to avoid the commitment that a legal marriage brings or find a way to have sex before marriage. We trust this isn’t true in your case!

Have fun planning your wedding. We wish you all the best in your upcoming marriage!

I want to read more questions and answers... take me back to the Q & A Page from ... what constitutes marriage ...