Wife Avoids Sex
How do I stop getting so angry at my wife because she seems to be always dragging her feet when it comes to sex?
Our Answer: Your question is short and simple, but has very complex implications. Anger is our response when we feel our rights have been violated, and we have not received what we feel is owed to us. We would say the way to overcome your anger is to consider three things:
- Focus on your wife's needs and not your own.When you focus on how your wife is lacking, and on what she isn't doing to meet your needs, you will become irritated and, apparently, angry. Rather, why not write down on paper your wife's top 5 needs, and consider how you have done in meeting them. Can you list them? Are you intentionally doing something to meet her needs? If not, I would suggest that your wife is feeling the same way you are! My friend, a wise husband focuses on meeting his wife's needs first! If you can do that--your needs starty getting met too!
- List the things you appreciate about your wife.Get pen and paper in hand and take 30 minutes to complete this exercise! Write down why you can be thankful for your wife. Use your imagination! After you spend time with this one, your anger will be gone! A word of warning: the longer it takes to make a list, the more self-centered you are. :-)
- Put yourself in her shoes. Think about her and her life for a minute! What is it like to live with you?! (...an angry husband, sometimes?) How would you respond if you were in her shoes? Take time here as well--and don't just think about it--feel it!! This exercise will also stop your anger!
Let us tell you by experience: make your wife feel cherished and loved; make her feel special and meet her needs; kill selfishness in your own character. If you can do these things--your wife won't be "dragging her feet when it comes to sex"!
Also...check out our eBook, the 7 Day Sex Challenge
Jim and Carrie