Wife never wants to have sex
Question: I've been married for just under one year now and my wife never seems to want to have sex. Everyone I talk to says that they have (or had) sex all the time the first couple of years, but we are only intimate about once a month (and sometimes it seems like she's doing it because she feels bad about it, not because she wants it). I've never gotten outwardly mad and angry at her and I'm trying to be understanding, but I don't know what to do anymore. I know I sound like a jerk when I say this, but I kind of feel like I've been ripped off. It seems like, sexually, she wants a roommate, not a soulmate. What can I do?
Our Answer: It is important to realize your wife probably has no idea about your level of sexual drive—many women don’t understand this about men.
May we suggest a book that was very helpful with our sex life was His Needs, Her Needs, by Willard Harley. This book clearly explains how men and women have totally different sex drives. This is such a vital concept for both you and your wife to understand!
If nothing changes after reading (and discussing) the book together, we strongly recommend that the two of you seek counselling. Perhaps your wife has issues from her past that keep her from fully giving herself in sex. Maybe you need to learn about foreplay--it is a vital part of sex and helps bring arousal to a wife.
Sex is like the "super glue" in a marriage relationship; if sex isn't happening much, the relationship will weaken.